Robert A. Monroe - Gateway Voyage Evening Talk (1990)

you gather reason quickly was I was bored. I was bored. I wanted change. I want to progress something other than playing games or lying in the clouds. And it was a very, very deep sadness. That held me for a long time, perhaps two or more three years maybe where I didn't have any particular goal. Because of that it was a it was a lost, lost. Dream as it were recognition that I could do that. So naturally, one reaches out and grabs for something else. And this inspect short for intelligence species friend, I thought that's what I would like to become one of the inspects. I've had to become that it's important that I become that because they are what to me, were godly and they had all the attributes that seem to be an hour. So then to reinforce that. I said well, could I get into your inspect gland or your inspect state just a little bit? And he she said, Oh, sure. And he took me over to this place and here was this flow of intense warmth, friendliness, love. beings moving in this direction and They are all heading for this inspect land. I think I wrote about that and far journeys. And that became my goal. Immediately from that on, because of the tremendous sense of unity, that was expressing itself within that flow, moving into inspect LAN. So from that moment on, I decided joyously, I'm going to be an inspect and the continuing relationship with this being denied D integrated. In other words, it was if that was sort of accepted, accepted, accepted. And so I that went on for four or five years or whatever, joyously, here I am planning. When I get this side of my being human completed and get on my way here, I can go be there. It was great stuff. until until on one, you got to remember my process at that time was pretty simplistic, I found that the easiest way for me to phase out and be in this obese state was a three o'clock in the morning, go through a couple sleep cycles. And then I'm awake. I'm rested. And I'm totally relaxed, it's absurdly easy and will be for you, if you want to play in that field, is simply to rule out this is so simple, you'd be surprised go to 21. And you're there. It's so simple. And it's three o'clock in the morning, everything's quiet phone's not going to ring all sorts of excuses, no cats on the bed, you know, I'll talk to them. So why did it what had happened was that historically, Bob Monroe 36:50 many, many years prior, probably about five years after I started getting into the out of body state. I had, in turn, gotten into a frustrated point that I didn't know what to do with this, I had no idea what to do with it. So when, in desperation on one of those three o'clock in the morning estates, I wrote out and said, I don't know what to do next, I read how many times can I go to the west coast on a test how many times going to go pinch people, you know, and all these kinds of things. And so I said, total self you take over and I not knowing I didn't like the word soul. So I use that to cover whatever it might be. And with this beautiful certainty, Wham. Always the whole other patterns of this operation. In this state of being opened up to me from that moment on and merrily, I went on the way, letting every time this total self do the driving, and do the navigating, all I did is just go along, as it were. And so that had been going on for years and years and years. So back up to recent time. One particular meeting with this Inspector, and we are having a normal conversation, normal communication, as it were. And all of a sudden, he she said, I'm sorry, Mr. Monroe, but this is our last meeting. And I got this great shock. What? And he says, This is the last time we can meet. And I said, Well, what did I do? Did I do something wrong? No. He said, you're just moving in a direction that you need to move. And this will not serve that purpose. And I was totally bewildered and shocked. And I said, well, will we ever see each other again? So he says, Yes, but and then but not in this form. We gone, we got me with this spirit. And talking about shock. I thought what I had done wrong, what had what what was happening. 38:56 So Bob Monroe 38:58 he had this he she had said one small thing in a previous and that is the basics were important. And that was the phrase basics were important. And I mean, thinking days and months after this, cut off what it was, I remember the phrase, and I thought basics, quite basic had a basic thing had I missed what basics. And in going around the circle, then suddenly this big aha opened up. And it would took a long time to get to it. And that was about four years ago, this big aha. And I said, You know, I have been riding around in this total self vehicle all these years, all these years, and I've never looked under the hood. You understand why? I don't know who's doing the driving. I don't know. I don't know who's doing the navigating. And I've been happily doing so I decided to do that is to look under the hood of this I, and I give this to you tonight, because I think it's so important. May I drink my coffee? Bob Monroe 40:19 Why is this important? Because you're in 21. And this is the opportunity for you to play we all like the tendency to move outward, and perceive external is one of the key things. Today Tonight, that I think you can do is know yourself first. Because that's what I had to do in going back and looking under the hood, as it were, of what I am. I can tell you what I found. I found First of all, in instead of I instead of in 21, and rolling this way, and put it in, it's a crude way, but it's the best I can do. I rolled this way inside, and move inward. And it took weeks and months to get this piece by piece knowledge information or whatever. But what I began to find, first of all, was catalog be being continually updated on every possible part of me, my experience, my emotions, my activities, whatever, it was a memory bank, if you want to put it that way, a life history recording of me and you can go up and down that whole life history. And back to when you were a two year old and you can and stupid things that you got, you had curiousness of and I can give you a little I have to be intimate with you because I can't do it any other way. For example, I had always wondered why I was hiding in the bushes is about a two year old or three year old at my grandmother's house. So I went down the line to find out what really happened. And it was very amusing because I didn't want to go in the house we got ahead of feces and my pants. Stupid is these kinds of things you can find out about yourself up and down that thing and you can you can find all the stupid things and all the brilliant things you did in your in your life up to date. And there it is and is big, it's constantly being added to it's as if another way of putting it is is it is as if we are all operating a computer workstation here, if you can think of it that way. And that's a mainframe. And you're feeding the mainframe with all this data, and you're offloading it over here and of what might be called short term memory, whatever. But that's all a permanent feed up there. And it's all anything that you know, or think you are, or hide from us all day, it's all open, but it's you you look at it, it's so clean and so beautifully organized, that it's fun to get to know, the real parts of you by hitting that main frame that is a part of, of that whole thing of you this is all you This is the points not even we're not in some wild universe, this is you moving inward to that nother layer, which is a busy place, as it were. And I watched it with great amusement that there is he has any emotional layer. And this is a layer of all the emotions, you're constantly accumulating. And there's a mechanism that's shoveling them off somewhere like this joint joint dog, it's like a conveyor belt is throwing it out this way. Well, your life is dumping it in here. It's very interesting. I found out later of course, that's the way it looks, but it's actually sorting it out and classifying the different types of emotion. So, then moving in this take, it took a long time to get past these fascinating things. And then there is this intellectual level layer and getting into that, and that was a lot of familiar things. But there again, it was noise, that I had no knowledge I had that information, which is fascinating. And totally, and I spent weeks and months in there. It's again like a system of cataloguing and beyond that is where I really found there was like a barrier there and like a wall and the wall had been pierced and I later found out how and why but it was as if there was a form Bob Monroe 44:55 a crack in this wall. A hole where we Was humanoid in shape. And the shape of me in my physical self is very funny. There's a long story about how that happened. But that's another part of it. And that I suddenly have one afternoon had the courage to go in and what did I find? It was astounding. Here was a. And I looked at it and different people look at it in different ways. But I looked at it as a huge, huge carpet of flowers is the best is the best way to put it. But each flower was a life experience a life personality. And I looked at these 1000s of flowers, and says, Come on, wait a minute, I've been all of these. And over here is a laugh. chuckle is this shirt kid? Sure, 45:52 where'd you expect? Bob Monroe 45:55 And here's this mass of different textured, radiating vibrant things. And this this pattern of it's it's hard to describe, it's indescribable except See, it's like a huge family feel like brothers and sisters, aunts, and uncles has that kind of you only much closer. And there's this total inner communication with all these in the sense that that they know you and as you begin to work and go touch one of the flowers would you soon find out as a face, I boy and the joy that you have finally recognized this. And that was reflected in I look and I say so this is what it's all about. This is what I am all of these, these life personalities, all of these lifetime experiences. And I then said and that that's what it is. And I'm finally have made that understanding that brilliant thing, these voiceovers Well, it took you long enough and then I found out much more about what I now call the eye there of me and take the hyphen out and it becomes the hit of me and the hit of which I am and it is i is indeed composed of literally and nobody really bothers to counted in my cluster how many little lives I we have lived but it's somewhere above 2000 and that's that I figures enough and they don't know buddy bosses go find out for yourself not I want to go with and count all these differently. Nobody does. So we don't know but as the need arises. And there is sort of a like a an executive committee as it were how these I have no idea my exact I am whatever that selects a number of life personalities to form a new one and descend down for our insert into an earth life sojourn. And mine was selected for a very specific purpose specific life experiences to live in this century of the fire wagons In other words, the 20th century when the we were using explosions to do things with instead of the other means of doing things that live that 20th century. And I got to know them I suspected something like this but didn't understand it. And these are the closers they're sent in, in my case and this is the thing you all go find this out for yourself. And I remind and I don't mind I'm just I'm just Pied Piper is all but this cluster I've recognized symptoms of this when I got to Norris is Oh yes, and now I got to know them very well. But there are around five that are dominant but they've melded together to become what I am. And I use them not I have used them unconsciously or automatically as I have lived through this life. And I like to use another way of putting but they are different kinds. And they we I now suspect we flicker from those