Markdown lines 352–406 · Part 7 of 11
rich white kid from New England that grew up with you know $100,000 gift from my grandfather to stop businesses I went to eight years worth of college I owned investing a real estate investing company where you at one point I had like 15 houses um and not crazy amount but you know I had the high paying jobs where I was making 200 Grand a year the the fancy cars the vacations the beautiful women all of that um but then I I lost it all where I had
restrained Ed put against me I had my long-term relationships you know taken out from under me I threatened to kill him in um there was a guy that that was co-owner of the company I worked for that you know screwed me over 900 bucks um and at that point I was just I was so thin on everything and I had this culmination of like a year and a half of just all these things showing me like Adam you could to completely change your
life and um I started exploring psychedelics by getting into shrooms and I I would probably recommend that you know I I I think just jumping in right into a h quad DMT session can be a bit traumatic so I spent several months um exploring DM uh excuse me shrooms and going pretty deep I was five six seven grams um and I felt as I was getting really good therapeutic value I was holding up that proverbial mirror to myself I was doing the shadow work I was
able to say the things that I needed to say to myself and really AC accept it but I didn't have that big Epiphany like that change of perspective itive that was like oh yeah I'm I'm good um and I had heard quite a bit about DMT the power of DMT you know and then a buddy of mine let me know that I had access to it and once I knew I had access to it then I then I really did as much research as I could so I spent several
months you know reading Rick stman listening all the Joe Rogan podcast uh you know as much information as I could and I decided that you know this I'm going to give this a shot that I've got nothing to lose cuz at that point I I really was at the point where I was going to walk off into the woods and not come back um and it wasn't like a rash decision like I had a bad day it was I spent weeks this you know figuring out
do I want to stay on this planet or not and that first day that we set aside to do DMT was um like I said that the day that just Rec configured everything in my life as way as how I perceive myself and and my my connection to other beings and in Earth um and without getting into all the details and I mentioned I took 50 hits that first day uh and I wouldn't suggest doing that for everybody and before people like [ __ ] no way um it
was spanned out over about an hour and a half and it was like seven eight sessions and each session was like six seven hits and that's the beauty of DMT as well I that it only last you know seven eight minutes so you can do multiple sessions um but couple things about that day the first thing I think is important is that first hit it was so natural and so innate so all of your senses are going you know crazy but it just felt like I
wasn't being drug or that I was being poisoned like you would with shrooms or LSD it felt like the veil was being removed and that I was getting access to my true self that I I was truly having what my body should normally feel like with all of those extra senses and heightened senses but you know no real crazy epiphanies other than sights and sounds um you know no entities or anything like that and I kept pushing that for like I said about an hour or so
and the last the last session I had was um the one that that really changed everything so typically in the DMT session there's all these crazy vibratory hums there's sits and sounds there's entities coming at you there's you know spiraling mandalas and all this crazy [ __ ] well that last session everything stopped there was no hum there was no sounds I didn't feel like I was falling or that I was being sucked
up into any portal I was just there um and I had what I considered like a a DNA download or or an upgrade or or something a conveyance of information that put really all of my personal drama and [ __ ] into into a way that I could then deal with it and an energy conversion box an energy conversion well and I think the simplest way Monroe joke for people um that that that did work though um was that I was always trying
to connect all of these proverbial dots from my my past and my current and my future and I was so worked up on how I was going to manage all the [ __ ] that I got myself into how am I going to get out um and you know in that space all of my proverbial dots got connected and then those blew up and then you know a thousand dots and then those got connected and blew up and then a million dots and then a trillion dots and that
the kind of take-home message was like haha you stupid human the point isn't to connect the dots the point is to enjoy the space between the dots the point is to enjoy the silence between the beat that's where the information is and you know it I came out of that with the true sense of the importance of being here now in that very second and that's where you have the only Power that you have so don't be stressed don't be anxious and
again I I had now a spotlight shine on all my [ __ ] but that was that session that day was the time that I stopped looking for external solutions to my internal problems or I stopped blaming the person or that girl did that or that guy did this or [ __ ] them and I took ownership of everything and that was like three years ago and since then my life has just been this completely different changed uh
life of happiness joy contentment love gratitude you know all the corny [ __ ] that I Riff on um but it yeah it it got me on this path of of what I needed to to really focus on then you know with all that then I took a year and a half off I traveled across the country uh I lived in my car I lived on beaches I went to all the national parks and I really did but um I know how fortunate I was able to do this but I I
took a you know a spiritual journey of of over a year and just meditated and prayed and did lots of shrooms and lots of DMT and um now I'm just kind of just coming back to the Matrix or the reality or you know and that's and and I asked this as a almost you know rhetorical question to you and your listeners where it's like it's kind of like so now what you know now that you've seen all this how do you come back and still
incorporate enough into society or the Matrix or the [ __ ] or the simulation um but not just be the guy that sits on a mountain top you know drinking iar all day right like and I'm still trying to find that balance but know I'll never go back to the rat race of right somebody else's dream or somebody else's [ __ ] well you've had first of all it's beautiful and second of all you've you've had the luxury and
the gift the the hardfought gift to now see directly just how crazy this world is and like the Matrix or like capitalism or you know the world the time that we find our in and how disserved to to the soul it is and how difficult it is to find balance because it's like once you've awaken to all these things to your point the harsh realities like don't go away like you might be able to take them a little lighter you might be able to laugh at yourself more
when you get those kicks in the dick you mentioned but it's they still hurt and it's still you still got to pay the bills and you still got to go like have diarrhea after you eat tacos and whatever like it's it none of that [ __ ] changes so yeah finding that balance man is extraordinarily tricky and and I do think it's like you never feel more like that I think it's from the Bible that it's like talks about how humans are
like between the angels and animals or whatever I don't know I've heard that somewhere but you never feel more like that than once you start to open these doors and the the just irony of it is so striking um but thanks for setting that context but now I want to ask you the same question from before again which is like so you have this essentially Awakening I guess let's just call it that because it is I would say but how you know maybe not even how
are you viewing it then but now with this context you know three years down this trail of basically ravenously seeking experiences having experiences seeking knowledge how do you think about where it's taking you how do you think about coming full circle that question the beginning how do you think about what it is you know outside the construct of like oh it's a drug oh it is a endogenously produced uh chemical compound that might be produced by the
pineal gland or whatever like aside from all that technical [ __ ] like what is it you know what is it really doing I'm glad you asked me that because I I did want to clarify to we talking about like ghost and and entities and Cryptids and how I think if you have heightened or elevated sense is that you're able to be you know more sensitive to these types of things um so I I I do agree with that that being said I think DMT
entities are a completely different thing a completely different space and that's where um you know like gamore talking about it being a technology where it's it's giving you access to something different that's where I'm I'm very convinced that the DMT space and DMT entities is its own thing so maybe similar to saying that your antenna can get refined and allowed to have access to different information but the DMT is
like a special unique space where they are their own e or something yeah they have they move around in their own dimensional space and they don't they don't um use the low of physics that we had today like you know maybe a good example is if you're on shrooms and you're staring at the wall like you know that the Wall's melting or maybe some crazy whatever you have a whale that's going across the wall but you know that it's your your
mind it's you know there is some [ __ ] that you're seeing but it's a combination of the drug and like it's a very clear like image that you're seeing um but you know the source of it DMT entities it's a it's completely different where you know just the opposite that this is not fabricated in my mind that this is not something that I'm producing and I miror um what gallamore says very he you know he makes the comment about
how he he tries to every experience that we have should model something in our past or or when we try to if if some new information comes in you know we try to model it on something to try to make it make sense and if new information comes in yes there is going to be this kind of disorientating effect understand all of that yeah um but he makes the point and I Merit as well is that the [ __ ] that you're seeing in this DMT space has
nothing at all like related to any movie I've seen any Alex Gray painting anything that I've experienced in my 44 years of being a white guy living in New England even with all the crazy [ __ ] that I've seen there is no way that I have the mathematical precision and the understanding of geometric shapes and how things work and how it it's just it's so far beyond anything that my mind can construct and I'm the first to like
I'm I don't want to say I'm cocky or arrogant but like I know how powerful my mind is I you know straight A in college I'm able to you know have photographic memory I've read thousands and thousands of books like I'm I'm very I understand the power of my brain this [ __ ] is not me there's no way that I can make what I'm seeing in these spaces and um the personal subjective interactions that I'm having with these entities and