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11 1993 Professional Seminar:
Walking the AIDS Circle - Healing Through Hemi-Sync®
(Barbara Bullard, Kat Carroll)
(Transcript)
NOTE: This is a raw transcript – it is exactly as created by otter.ai.
Kat Carroll 00:01
We're constantly working this Medicine Circle every single day of our ever working life. I know
that people frequently say to me that I'm going around in circles. So clearly that comes into my
role often. I realize I was holding a cup of yours out of that a coffee cup. I mean, it's a circle.
And I ask why didn't they make them square when they fit into cupboards a lot easier if they
were square. While anyway, my thoughts continue to serve ramble on out there and I sort of
think, gosh, you know, we've got Stonehenge, we've got the great labyrinths, we've got crop
circles, which was shared with us last year, we've got the swirling dervishes. And as I sat there
in my car, I looked up, and three hawks, were circling right above me there, I thought, you
know, in the sky, in the space between sky and earth, and in the earth, this idea of the circle
that we've joined here together this morning with really has become very, very symbolic in our
life. And Barbara and I have found in the last two years and working with the positive immunity
program, that that indeed, is the true walking of a circle, that when someone is diagnosed HIV
positive, they enter into a different way of being. And so when we received the theme, for this
week cycles of life, we thought how appropriate that is, because that is what we have been
working with, is this cycle, this circle, the beginning, the middle one, and for many people,
finally, the ending is they bring closure to that walk that they've been doing. And even though
we haven't been able to really enter in to that circle, in terms of absolutely living life, as a as a
person with AIDS, we have spent the last few years walking alongside of it trying to hold on our
hands to this fragile, beautiful path that certain people have begun. And so that's how we
decided to approach this today is to talk about that circle that cycle, both the rebirth into the
worlds of AIDS, the transformation that linear those people experience. And finally, the closing
of that circle and what we've experienced by being there through that, that death walk
basically. Okay, so just a little bit of background, a lot of you already know this part of the story.
But for those of you that are new. Several years ago, we both had several friends and stints
people popping up on our lives were being diagnosed HIV positive. And we started watching
people enter into this process. And being the the r&r people rescue and repair people that we
tend to do, we wanted to help with how we need to help here. And we've been working with H
plus tapes in our classes, classes and with our students. And this seemed to be just a very
natural transition to begin to do that work. Then two years ago, Jim Green presented all of the
information from his wonderful work with Georgetown University in the pilot positive immunity
program. And barber brought that back, shared it with me, and we said, let's do this, let s
embark upon this journey. And at that time, it was primarily because we had one person in our
lives that we really, really wanted to help. So it started off with the idea that we would do this,
this one group, we wanted to help this one person. And it has just expanded since that
particular point into a variety of groups, a variety of weekends, and a great exposure into this
process. So we're going to share with you today some observations about that process.
Remember, were teachers we did not enter into this as researchers. So we haven't, we won't
be talking about it from that particular standpoint, but rather from from an observational mode
as teachers and healers. And so basically, we've noticed that there seems to be three, three
traits, three observations, the first one being that of the rebirth itself. It will not be news to any
of you. I'm sure that if you were diagnosed HIV positive, your life will change. For many people
very, very dramatic. I can't tell you how many times we've heard people say, I eat rock breathe
and sleep AIDS. AIDS is my life. Because everything changes at the moment that you were
diagnosed. First thing, you're reborn into an entirely new language. You're reborn into an entire
industry, a drug therapy industry, the most common being DDI, and AZT. So those just
become second hand language to you. You suddenly are referred to with new initials like PW a
person with AIDS. Okay, that's what is very, very common in the community. You lose some of
your friends, we see people abandoned left and right where their family say we don't want to
have to deal with you anymore. People But work became afraid of you, they won't even share
a pencil with you. And yet you're also adopted by an entire other community, you were in there
into new relationships, new support systems, etc. So it is a rebirth. You were born in terms of
the way that you ate, the way that you exercise the way that you rest. Many, many of the
people that we've worked with over the last two years are unemployed, because of this
disease. Because they have to take naps frequently during the day, they can no longer meet
the standard, eight to five process, or 10 hour, four day a week process that they used to be
working. So there's also oftentimes an abandonment of self esteem and abandonment of worth
in the society, etc. So it's a tremendous shift. Now, this happens, a lot of us have encountered
this with people with other diseases or friends in our lives, etc. As happens with cancer. I I'm
not sure I've ever seen it happen as dramatically as it happens when people are on this
particular walk this particular path, because it can happen so quickly. And so the the primary
thing we've noticed when they're reborn people are reborn into this world of AIDS has to do
with their attitude. This is not news to anybody here in this room, we know we wouldn't be
here, right? We'll be sitting together in a circle, attitude counts, attitude hills. And we have been
incredibly graced because the overwhelming majority and Steve I don't have this statistically.
But let's say that was statistically Correct. I would say that 98% of the people that that have
come to work with us have had great attitudes, extraordinary attitudes about their own healing,
the that 2% who were afraid or angry struggle through the weekend, they have a hard time
doing the positive immunity program, which is a two day program. The last one we did at
Marianne Williamson's Los Angeles Center for Living. We had our first I don't want to call him a
deserted because it was really done in love. But halfway through, someone laughed. He said,
You know, I need to leave, this is getting too close. I'm not ready for this. And he left and
people there that knew him said he's so afraid and he's so angry. Okay. So attitude has a big
key. And we really noticed this play out because one of the observations we've made is that
people who seem to be reborn into the world of AIDS, from a point of fear, anger seem to have
about an 18 month survival rate. They don't stay long. Okay? The process is very quick. Those
that enter it and embrace it and say,
Kat Carroll 07:43
Ah,
Kat Carroll 07:44
lesson, obviously have a higher survival rate at the most recent group we did. About halfway
through the day Barbara said to me, she's smarter than me. She said, papers. Yeah, what
papers are our scores at this particular point, didn't know whether she was on some new drug
or what that report was, is we hadn't heard a beeper all day. That's another part of this process
is is the carry around little tiny alarm clocks. And oftentimes during the weekend, we'll hear the
tenant speak up, oh, gotta go do the easy to Barbadian mind EDI, and everyone joins and
community kitchen to do their little mixes and, and such. We hadn't heard a single one. So we
follow through and started asking this particular group of people. And we discovered that out of
the eight people who were there who were HIV positive, we had a couple other people there
for the reason. reasons but the eight there that were HIV positive. Six of them have never done
traditional drug therapy. Never. That is highly unusual, because they're bombarded with that
everywhere they go. One of those two people was diagnosed eight years ago, and one of them
was diagnosed over 11 years ago. I had never done it and said, hey, it's attitude. It's the world.
It's the world for life. And I'll tell you something, the guy that was an over 11 year survivor, he
blew us away, you should have seen this man, tan fit, toned, just vitality just glowed off of this
person. And he was so inspirational to the rest of this group. Because attitude counts, attitude
is life attitude is survival. And their quality of life was also very good. We have talked with a lot
of these individuals. And even when they become asymptomatic when they move from the
designation of HIV positive into asymptomatic, they stay cope that better coping mechanisms
for many of the symptoms of AIDS. They have shorter durations in the hospitals, et cetera.
Okay. So, there is a tremendous opportunity when someone is diagnosed HIV positive at that
moment have we been worried? Born into this new way of being to be instrumental about
saying, let's talk about how to embrace this rebirth, how to use this as an opportunity to have a
lesson. Okay? Those who are most ready to do that, then go to the second step, which is, if
they find their way to any kind of a wonderful program is such as the one that that Jim Green
was so instrumental in designing the positive immunity program, they then prepare themselves
for the next step transformation, which Barbara is going to talk about.
Barbara Bullard 10:38
But you can see that cat is the poet, Shaman, healer of this PYP workshop, and I'm called the
old, wise woman. I'm very pragmatic in my approach. And so I started out with all of the
pragmatics of it gathering people together. I would like to say it the last workshop that we did at
the Center for Living that was brought about by current spelling after last year, the man we
were talking about Richard, who was an 11 year survivor brought five of the other people
there, because he had been working with the ahi. I mean, with the H plus and Gateway tapes
for over six years. And he had told these people, he'd never had any training in it. And they
should be here to add that into the repertoire. And so we already had a group that was pretty
well programmed to think that this might be a way, I cannot stress enough how healthy these
people looked. And you have to understand that this was the first group that we knew nobody,
we were just going in as people trying to maybe help. I meant to the pragmatics of the
workshop, I suppose we gather everybody, by about eight o'clock, have everybody set up their
beds, make sure that everybody is comfortable. And then we instruct about the first tape, I
keep it very simple, because we have found out by now that the first three hours before lunch,
they just sleep, these people come to us very tired. And so what they find out by 12 o'clock, is
that, oh my gosh, I haven't slept this much. I didn't know I was this tired. God, I feel so good.
This is amazing. Some of them have not heard a single take. And I keep saying it's okay, it's
called clicking out is called letting your body to the wisdom. It's not the tapes. Relax. But what
we found out by the first time that I did a workshop by myself, also, it's body X come out in that
first six hours, I mean, a lot of stress is being released from the body. So right after they do
start waking up, they wake up to some pains, mostly physical cramping and whatever, by the