Markdown lines 207–358 · Part 2 of 5
what it was, I wanted to show across visually a lot of really feeble attempts at it. This is one I
worked on for months with mirrors and layers of glass. And all it was quite a contraption. But it
just didn't pull off what I was trying to show
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when I went to words. But you can only do so many pieces with words in them.
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And it's almost too literal here. Then I decided to major in patty. Let's solve the problem of pots
of pot. So when you're an art major, you have to choose an area of emphasis. And I chose
pottery because it was a really easy way out. I didn't have to express any kind of ideas by
making pots. When I got out of college, and I started teaching, and I don't even remember
what year it is timeless is really strange to me now. I could go back and look. But I started
getting these weird vibrations and gave the devil up me. So I don't want to but I'm thinking the
waters Jake right now, I'm having a heart attack or. And my story is like many people who've
come here, Bob's book just literally jumped off a shelf at me. At the time when I was out
exploring, trying to find out what was going on with me. Didn't Know About The Institute at that
point. But his his book was a very comforting thing to read. And then I started getting visions
and dreams of things. In my work changed. And it was like this just came to me in a dream I
got up in the middle of night and I painted it. And it was kind of like what was to come whole
world was kind of turned upside down from that point on. This is another one that just came in
the middle of the night and got up and painted it. And I remember at Gateway being told, you
know, you really can't go back. This is a one way ticket. And that's kind of what's going on
here. You can hold your hand up, but it's not going to do any good. This is a real crib scan and
I became very fascinated with vibrations. I almost majored in music. If I didn't dropped out of
high school, I probably would have been a music major. And is a really Uncharted when I first
started into music, I would see colors as I played notes. And there's some word for that. Now, I
don't know what it is. But yeah, I lost it when I was a teenager. But I started, I got really
fascinated with Pythagoras and some of his theories. And I started trying to bring together this
relationship between colors, and sounds. And really research frequencies, all kinds of things,
did a number of pieces that that were kind of crude like this. And then finally brought it all
together in my project for my master's degree where these are playable pieces of music, and I
took three different cultures but but this brought that to a close for me and I struggled with that
for years and was finally resolved when I when I produced these three pieces. Another image
that's haunted me for a long, long time, right from my very first drawing class, I will draw this
and I have it in every media you can imagine sketching, charcoal, paint, silkscreen. It just kept
coming back and coming back and why am I drawing blades, you know, this is nuts. And then I
went to Gateway and now I know I was drawing brains gateway turned my life upside down in
a very good way. And my art took a different form after that. It was like I had to purge a lot of
stuff out of me and I went to three dimensional shadow buxton's and a very negative. And I'm
going to do two or three of these before, whatever needed to be purged. And I still don't know
what it is, because I'm not real sure what this means. But it purged it, and it was gone. And I
did a whole series of these.
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Then I went through, I've done some work, nothing I'm really excited about over the years,
most of my efforts have gone into teaching. And I had such incredible experiences here and at
home since my adventures began. And I thought I was really disappointed at the beginning,
because I am visual. In the physical world, I'm very, very visual. out there. There's no visuals,
very rarely, I'll get some little flash of a picture that I thought I was gonna be visual, I wanted to
see technical things. Once I got beyond that, and accepted the way I was receiving things, it
was much better. I get auditory, and I get more of a sense of knowing of what's out there, what
the experience is, I know what it is, I don't see it. And as an artist, I have this need to put down
on a canvas on a piece of paper, if I can put something down on it out of me. It's like I have to
project for myself and I couldn't do it. Like I had these knowings I had these incredible
experiences that I wanted to record, I wanted to show visually, and I couldn't do it, I could not
translate my experience into a visual image. And I've had some help. And through the window I
am now I don't know how they do this, they're not physical. But the visual is all I have to do is
remember an experience and the visuals are given to me and the artwork over the other
building. These are the PowerPoint versions of them. And these are again I emphasize my
experiences my interpretation of what I've experienced out there and I won't try to interpret
them because we're going to run short on time but I have noticed that some of them this ones
for sure. I can't look at this without thinking of surely I'll find grid patterns coming up a lot. But I
can't take credit for these I mean those are my experiences but the ability to be able to put
them visual is coming from Heckle and Jeckle it's like when I start a piece it's just it just goes it
just creates itself this was a self portrait if you've done guidelines, you know what issues My
issue is a really strange CRO with a warped sense of humor. And this was when it was
external to me then later it became internalized this is my interpretation of Earth core which is
part of the focus 27 but again just my interpretation other people that get various things from
this and by getting this visual it's it's been a real release it's no longer trapped inside here
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this is the one that surely sir that's ecological a little help from NASA. Near the building I
bought the original artwork was so
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new to my kids when I first discovered them To first did my gateway program, I immediately as
a teacher could see all the potential in using this in the classroom. And I kept chickening out
just the thought of a parent conference will put the tear into any teacher, or the thought of
having to explain something like this to an administrator. It's not a pretty sight. So I
procrastinated and I procrastinated. At one point, I talked to skip about speaker placement.
And eventually, I started using metal music in the classroom without really telling anybody, I'd
always had music in my classroom. So it was easy to slip this in us, again, no statistics there
after 20 years experience teaching, I know my classroom got calmer, quieter. whole different
atmosphere in the room. Kids helped me with a sped away so much that I met a few of them.
When I first started off at the beginning of the year, I teach photography, and that's what I'm
going to emphasize here. Their first efforts are really bad. Okay, but I don't worry too much
about it. Because there's so many technical things, they have to learn how to use a camera,
how to develop film, how to make a print, and a focus. I mean, it's just a lot of technical stuff.
So I don't worry too much about subject matter. And I get some really bad pictures. But they do
get the technique down. This is really exciting showerhead. Air conditioner, I don't know why
they take the pictures, they take what possesses them. But this is the kind of work I get during
the first quarter of the year. And again, I don't harass them. My, my intent is that they learn
how to make a good print. That's really exciting.
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When I start, once I got a handle on it, I stopped them into composition on subject matter. And
they improve. So they're giving me but there's something missing. And maybe you can pick out
what's missing in this next bunch. Technically they've become the more interesting, but there's
something just really missing in all these pictures. And if you're not a photography teacher, you
might think these are great. They're not great. They're good.
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And this is what I get up until by January. This kind of work in composition, they're perfect. If
they follow the directions. They're simple. They've done all the things I've asked him to do
about composition and background. But there's something really missing in the subject matter
if you can pick up on it. Nice pictures. I mean, better than some I see in magazines, but more
often it's not what I'm looking for. So this is where they are at the end of the second semester.
This was as I was making the slideshow, I've just got to show you this
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is going to face just popped out at me when I was putting the slides together
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do you notice lack of people? Okay, kids are scared of people. They get wrapped up in their
face with a camera, you know, look them in the eye. It's scary stuff. And so they avoid people
like the plague. When they finally do just some assignment or they have to shoot a picture of a
person. They do things like this that avoid the problem. Make a soil. Nice picture. But still, I
mean, we're still avoiding in here. Then are given the portrait assignment and then the guy
looking in the face. And we're kind of okay with it. This is our drama teacher that needed some
pictures taken for publicity. And that's okay. She came in asked and it's a formal portrait and
I'm supposed to stay on here. And this one they can they can stretch and do this but no further.
There's no soul in those pictures. There's no sense of who they are. And that's where I got
beyond the scary part and said The heck with the parents and the heck with the administration
and started using some of the techniques Next what I've learned here with the kids not just
playing Hemi sync, okay, Hemi sync did a lot for the atmosphere, it still didn't open them up. By
the mid year I've got their trust. I spend hours practicing being a klutz. And total Klutz in the
room, some people will feel comfortable being a klutz, or trip so many times in a trip, nobody
notices. Okay? Because it becomes normal to trip all over the room. And I do silly things,
usually, but they're all feeling pretty comfortable. I really spend a half a year getting this
comfort zone in there. And then I start using some techniques. I don't use the word Hemi sync,
adult use the word meditation, I'm very careful. And I finally the day I decided to do it. I just
allowed it to come through that window. And the words came out of my mouth, they were the
right words. And since that time, the difference in their subject matter is phenomenal. I now
speak openly to the kids about Hemi sync what they're listening to. I have had some parents
and when the parents were there, they read faces and ready to jump down my throat. I just
allowed. Trusted, unconditional trust, it came through the window. The right words came out,
the parents went out smiling. I don't know what I said. I just allowed it to come out. I had a real
crew last week, our principal had quadruple bypass surgery, type A personality went over to
see him about something else. And that we believe and said Here, listen to these. He's
listening to him. I think my problems are solved. You get the head guy listening to it. And he
took me aside a little while later, there was nobody in the room. And he looked at me says
Susan, what the hell is on that CD says it takes me to a different place. So that's going to
alleviate a lot of the rules that I had in front of an administrator almost said hey, we'll handle
the parents. But I want to show you now the after shots. And I'm kind of proud of these. And I
think so are the kids. This is a particular set, often I get the same subject matter before and
after that can you see the difference in thinking here? They're approaching the problem. From