Markdown lines 195–327 · Part 2 of 6
up over and over and over and over again in terms of people's ability and flexibility, and so on.
And I found those to be particularly helpful me in terms of dealing with the discomfort when my
style is someplace that's not natural for us. And hopefully, you'll get a little bit of a handle on
that as we move along. Now, I also propose the possibility that we may even carry that that
style or some of the elements of our personal style into altered states. And I suspect having
heard Susan report on her experiences, knowledge states before that our style impacts the
way we represent what we experienced there. Now I tend to be a little bit cautious style wise,
which you may not be able to believe from what I'm doing now. But I know when I do anything
like that I'm into analysis of everything that's going on while I'm doing it. And that's also very
consistent with my style and sort of a conscious place. So that's something that I'm proposing
that I just kind of like you to sort of be aware of. And if if you have any thoughts on that, I really
like to hear what you think about that. Because because I think it probably gets in my way, the
fact that I have a certain kind of a style and kind of thinking gets in my way as I go into
exploring alternate states or alternate energies or whatever. Okay, so the next thing we do is
we basically talk to people about responsibility in terms of finding some power, and I'm big on
cartoons, I use this one here, you know, and this is the one loser. Now if you can read or not.
The first one says black not doing the salad again, what's the problem? Forney says I hate
tuna salad. The next one is to sell tuna salad every day, it's tuna salad for lunch, I'm sick of it, I
can't force down another bite. And it's easy, big guy, if that's what you feel about, uh, once you
have let us make something else for lunch. And of course, Donnie says I can't, why not? I
make my own lunches. And that's, that's where we find that people are, you know, it's like we
have this sense of powerlessness. But we got to remember that nothing's going to happen if
we don't take personal responsibility. Another concept that I feel like people and I try to use
this to soften them up for for change. And that is basically looking at the history of knowledge.
And I pointed out to them, the least according to some sources, from when I started my career
in education, approximately 30 years ago. And now, the difference in terms of the history of
knowledge, just like it's moved from doubling every 15 years, to doubling approximately every
year and a half. Now, if that isn't enough to blow you right off your perch. I don't know what it
is. And when you're in education, and you're making decisions about what are you going to
teach to these kids, and how many times are you going to repeat it and how much of it is going
to have to be factual knowledge versus processes in terms of how to learn if that doesn't show
He woke up in terms of the need for change, I, for one, don't know where else to start. So we
work pretty hard on that with people, then we suggest the possibility is that maybe people want
to sort of further in their own life have a framework for how they operate, and keep looking at
whether it's making any sense or not. And by that, I mean, it's kind of like Morris Massey says,
you know, some people, their whole life is a pile of crap. And the one consistent factor in their
whole life is them, that their screw up button is, in essence, on repeat, and they just haven't
bothered to pay attention to them. So we're suggesting that people come and try to get a grip
on their model for life, not that it stays the same all the time. But then it keeps changing and
the DNA changes. And based on what works, you do more of what is not supportive of you,
you do less up. So I sort of had an idea about some pieces about that. And this is my ultra
simplistic for this piece. Outline. We saw people and remember, we're working with
mainstream, we're not normally working with strange folks like you who know that there's more
to it than this. Okay? We basically say that there's an image you create, externally. And it's
kind of like, Why did I do that? If you've ever had that, you know, you've done something sort
of spontaneously and then you go, when you say, Oh, my God, why did I do that? You know,
well, that's part of your style, oftentimes. And so we say that that's one part of you, that that
impacts how you're going to be in the world. The other part of you is who has a little voice in
my head, where did it come from? We talked about that your values and belief system, which
is impacted by culture, and all that to say that you should get a handle on both of those pieces,
in order to increase your probability of success. And this, this has been validated for me
personally, in terms of my life, in terms of working with high school kids in whether it's in
academics, or whether it's in athletics, and we actually had a wrestler, who was who had
everything he was supposed to have the win, except he would lose, he lose by one or two
points in real close matches, and we use this system to to get him to take a look at his style.
And what we got out of it was that he got real intimidated by crowds, once he got a handle on,
and it was a stylish, and once he got a handle on that, then we use some affirmations with him.
And then he started winning. It's like he had the technical stuff, he had the commitment, he had
the muscles, he did all the stuff you're supposed to do. But the crowds bothered him. And it
was a style issue. So we worked from the style piece to that. So we tried to try to get people to
take a look at both of these things. Normally, we work with one piece at a time. The first piece
is the style piece, that's the external piece. It's like how people see you coming across, are you
an outgoing kind of a person are you laid back kind of a person and a lot of research about
this. And I frankly, don't debate the research with people, this is a simple tool. You don't have
to be like a licensed psychologist to use it. It's very nice, commonplace tool, then I say, once
you've got a handle on that, then you're in a position to look up. What are other kinds of
processes you want to use, you know, what kind of process to use in your classroom, do you
do you do management by objectives do do site based management would be TQM, or
continuous quality improvement or whatever those things. To me, if you don't have a handle on
this, the rest of this stuff is much more difficult to do. So that's kind of the nature of where we
go with that. And then we talk about style. And this way, we're gonna use a thing called a
personal profile system. But as I've taught rudimentary psychology courses, and I know there
are people in here with broader credentials than I have in that, what I began to see is that
people talk about this in a lot of different ways. He talks about in terms of personal profile,
personality, style, personal style, behavioral tendencies, I sort of kind of group all those
together and don't get too complicated with it. And I look at it in terms of those things are going
to have a high impact on these things, your leadership style, your support style, and your
participation style, which have to do with how well you're going to be able to get along in
groups, and how are you going to be able to get along in relationships. Because in when I
talked about groups and getting things done today, it's like, the idea of the group seems to be
no, the team seems to be getting synergy and bringing people's ideas together to solve
problems. And then that kind of a setting, everybody gets to be a leader at one time or the
other in the most effective ones. So knowing what your style is, and how you may tend to show
up as a leader is kind of valuable. And then at the same token, since the leadership rotates, so
does being a participant or a support person. So you need to take a look at how your style
shows up in that role. And that kind of gives you an overall look at your general participation,
then that translates into contribution to team and relationship success. And everything that we
say about this is
19:45
as important in a person's personal life, as it is in their professional life. You know, I've been
dragging myself around doing this stuff for a long time. And what I keep finding is this generic
is generic is generic, you know, it's like it's not business or education or It's generic. So, and
that seems to get people that come to seminars, and then our guy said to another one on our
seminars, you know, good lord. But when they heard us, it might actually, you know, have
something to do with how I get along with my spouse, or my kid, or in my church council, or
maybe pay a little bit more attention. So we work with that. And then of course, we
acknowledge that sometimes people get, you really got to get into this one, people get a little
nervous when they're talking about personal stuff. Don't ever walk in front of one of those as
long as it's trying to get out of the way. So you can see this says they're all suspected
someone that once again slipped on the screen with the concave side reversed. Now, that took
me a long time. What was wrong with that? It sounds to me like a little bit like paranoia. And
sometimes people get paranoid when you tell them, You're gonna give them a style,
personality style thing. And I don't want you to be paranoid. But what I want you to know is just
because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you right. This particular
instrument will not measure your, whether you're schizophrenic or paranoid or anything like
that. But it is good to know that if you're schizophrenic, you'll always have each other crease
from Taylor gave me that line told me that was that was okay to use. I figured if it came from a
priest, at least I wasn't going to get criticized too bad. So anyway, it was some of the things
that style seems to affect how you learn how you choose to learn some styles prefer to learn
actively, some passively, hopefully, you'll get a sense of that as we go along how you teach, or
how you facilitate a workshop will differences in terms of your personal style. And of course,
the receptiveness to that in terms of the audience, or the group you're working with, has to do
with how your style interacts with bears. So that's going to try to give you a feel for that has to
do with expectations, how you prioritize If you bother to prioritize at all, whether you care about
goals, or whether you're heavily involved in goals, the ways you communicate, some styles are
like good confront errs, not necessarily naturally good listeners, others are just the opposite.
The more that you have a handle on, I think the higher your probability for successes, whether
it's in groups, or whether it's dealing with individual clients and understanding individual clients.
I gotta tell teachers, when people come in for parent conference, their style has, their personal
style has a lot to do with what to expect from you. Some people come in expecting to see a
gradebook with a whole bunch of percentages on it, and a formula for arriving at how their kids
get their grade. And if you don't have that you're not doing the job. Other people come in and
nothing out of their style. What they want to know most is Do you like their kid? Is their kid
getting along with everybody, because that's their sort of orientation to life. So it's really
interesting how it affects that. It's also kind of interesting that some people actually choose
their jobs based on style. If you think part of politicians, at least in this country, we seem to
charisma seems to be an issue, which may be a style characteristic. Paul Tsongas was
running for the Democratic nomination. There was a lot of dialogue about him when he was